I'm starting to feel much better lately. Deeply better. I'm slowly fixing myself, and healing. I'm still shy about it because i'm scared that'll jinx everything. Last night i dreamt about people i don't know, and their family members getting swallowed by some sort of BBQ meat preparation machine? I remember traumatized kids yowling for their mother as it spat out sausages and steaks (human) on a tray.
Personally i read it positively: it may mean my subconscious is finally starting to grip the trauma and deal with it. Don't let it spook ya -- and sorry subconscious, for all the things i put you through...
Yes, maybe the mental state will all get worse again in wintertime. But right now, today, present day, present time, i'm doing fine, dare i say, happy.