It can all be made better and it's fine to keep fighting

This is my war. This is my fight. Lately I regained perspective. Surrounding myself with good music, Pagan Folk songs, Russian Doomer stuff, and sensing not just meaning, but purpose. It's my kind of fight to go to the blocks and try to crack the concrete, it's our striving, make the world more magical, it's essentially war. That's part of the process the Newkirks brought to us, an initiation that says,
"it could be better, so come dance along and we'll see where the hidden trail goes".

Ah, always hidden, always dark, always this and that, it sounds overdone at some point, but it makes a bit of sense. I should have expressed it better. But don't look at the form, look at the content! Do come along! See where the adventure leads!
And it's true, I keep on getting back up. The Hope never left me, even if this tiny sliver of nonsensical little something deep inside. Even if it's the fallacious "dream of arrival" or something. It's there. It keeps going. Even when I was down low, surrounded by dark and rotting away deep in my mattress, while this little parasitic bitch was whispering poisonous falsehoods of doom and despair into my psyche, I just kept on being. I kept trucking. Roll call bitch, I'm fucking here! You couldn't get me! I didn't kill myself! I didn't drink myself to death!
So to celebrate my continuance, let's crack open a beer. Funny, but really, I'll be taking a moment here to recognize this fact. I made it until present day. Wow.

There is a path of purpose. I'm talking about the understanding that is, this true hidden conflict, inside us, between us, maybe outside too. The Fight of Soul. The Light. People are depressed, walk around with so many mental illnesses. Even in my youth I saw that adults at some point agreed to swallow the nonsense and live in it. They were mystified and drawn to me because I didn't do the same. Because I threw it all right back in their faces. That is my essence, and at some point I started just taking it too, and grew silent, and eventually went along with it. Fuck that: this is not what I'm about! I'm about the opposite. I need to be something to these people. I used to mean something, something which they needed. I wasted so many years. Did I? Or were they well spent, in reflection on what I was supposed to mean?
And now, the path shows a sign ahead. It begins. I'm done with all the little revolutions, the going-up and falling-down, the high moods swinging back to low moods, and all this. I'm looking forwards. There has been a long period of uncertainty in me, but now, ironically looking at my past, I'm getting to the meaning of me.
I'm the breakout. The fuck-off of all these little nonsenses that adult persons have learnt to swallow. I'm the one who's here to tell them: No, you don't need to! You can fuck it all off! I'm the one who comes along, them lost in the grey blocks, and tell them No you're not the only one! Yes it makes sense you feel this way about the state of all this bullshit you see around you!

YOU ARE A SOUL!

Not a collection of meat slabs and stacks of carbon! You feel something deep inside, it makes sense for you to long for a creed, or for something, a meaning, a bright dawn, a burgeoning of hope above the sullen skies, your own liberation, or something you cannot tell, be it a breakout, an unleashing, an unfurling, breakout, breakout, breakout! The meaning does not lay hidden beneath the asphalt! We go into this iron jungle, with rifle and guitar, and shake your soul right awake! Call it youth, call it naivety, call it confidence, whatever you want! We'll make this world more magical and the FUCKing black lodge can just tremble at out gleaming hope which shakes and thunders! The human spirit! The war! It is declared! Hidden war on earth!
Come together and fight, like brothers in arms, pushing back against this invisible tide, against a swarming swollen sea of disease, poverty, depression, mental illness, against soullessness, against the death of Light, against degeneracy and drugs and all these things, against the dying of White, against sorrow and grief and trauma and abuse, against swindling and pain and lies... may the Musick lead the way. Storm, unfurl, bring your resolute blessings to our hopeful lands, bless our fight, go on and on! Oh little one, learn to forgive, learn to fight, sharpen your love & will, focus, help and grow, for we have a grander conflict to rage in. Learn to see it, don't fall to nonsense and lies and manipulation! It's all a matter of the things which no one can lie about. That it feels better to laugh than to cry. That the world must heal, it must hope, it must dream, it must enter with confidence into the future, and bring light. This is my call. I see so many getting stuck in the anti. Yes, antagonism. But you must learn to be pro!

We're trying to bring something better to this world, or─And be its Soul, or conscience, or that world which you enter when you dream and listen to these songs, Kaos, or creativity, or this beautiful blinding light which shines sometimes, through some dusty windows, in some places, some towns, maybe Germany, maybe somewhere, somewhere where the road leads, or where it ends, or wherever you'll be when you'll finally be free, based in purpose, and at the point of success. Fulfilment! At your perennial pinnacle! I wish you this too! Do you know what I'm even writing about? Fine, even if you don't know, you might know what you're missing, or that you're missing something at all. Follow that thread, look back at 10. That's what I meant with the light. On my end I'll keep fighting my fight. Even just by fucking getting up in the morning. I wage small battles right now, and I'm winning them. It's a scary world, I know. But Life is Strange, and we're at different levels. So understand you have to go up. Love you. Be good. And WIN.

Happy holidays, private.