I just wanna be free versus LQ shells
Навьи Чары - Омут (slowed + reverb)and Inkubus Sukkubus： Supernature
and Inkubus Sukkubus： SupernatureI still can't make sense of this whole damn thing.
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=YmHtCvEaMcc
Skill issue, still not good enough to properly give life the go it requires. I got big problems: and also I am seemingly unable to objectively assess the world. Is this demoralization?
Anyways.
The Sigil of Saturn can be drawn with four ᚱ raido runes.
I don't know things. I kept telling everyone I'm the fool to set the base expectation for... me. Then one day I was told If you invent yourself as a fool, who would speak wisely to you? At the time I was still orbiting Saturn.
For some people it's evident, but for someone like me, I am just fumbling around, more or less knowing what I'm doing. Back then I drew it and thought it was my own. That I had come up with it. It brought me on an adventure—
In astrology, Saturn is associated with discipline, responsibility, structure, limitations, and lessons. It is often regarded as a planet that represents challenges and the need for hard work and perseverance to achieve success. Saturn's position in an individual's birth chart is believed to influence their personality traits and life experiences. Check.
Discipline and Authority: Saturn is often associated with discipline, structure, and authority figures. It represents the principle of rules, responsibilities, and the need to establish boundaries. Check. Saturn's influence is often seen in the areas of career, governance, and systems of authority.
Wisdom and Experience: Saturn is considered the planet of wisdom and experience. Its energy encourages individuals to learn from their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, and develop a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them. Saturn's lessons are often associated with personal growth and maturity. Check!
Persistence and Diligence: Saturn's influence emphasizes the value of persistence, hard work, and patience. It encourages individuals to overcome obstacles, endure challenges, and work diligently toward their goals. Saturn's energy promotes long-term planning and the steady pursuit of success. Check.
Karmic Lessons: In astrology, Saturn is often associated with karmic lessons. It is believed that Saturn's placement in an individual's birth chart indicates areas where they may face challenges or experience limitations in order to learn important life lessons and evolve on a soul level. Check...
Structure and Order: Saturn represents the principle of structure and order. It promotes the establishment of systems, organization, and stability. Saturn's energy encourages individuals to build a solid foundation in their lives and maintain a sense of structure in various areas, such as relationships, work, and personal development.
Check.
Self-discipline and Self-control: Saturn's energy promotes self-discipline and self-control. It teaches individuals to set boundaries, make responsible choices, and resist immediate gratification in favor of long-term goals. Saturn's influence helps develop inner strength, resilience, and the ability to overcome temptations or distractions. Check.
Soul Purpose and Life's Calling: Saturn's influence can be seen in the exploration of one's soul purpose and life's calling. It prompts individuals to reflect on their authentic desires, values, and aspirations. Saturn's energy encourages the alignment of personal goals with a higher sense of purpose and the pursuit of a fulfilling path. Yes...
Mastery and Expertise: Saturn encourages the pursuit of mastery and expertise in a particular field or discipline. It represents the dedication, discipline, and hard work required to become an authority or expert in one's chosen area. Saturn's influence fosters a commitment to continuous learning and the development of specialized skills. Everything is a learning process.
These few months were the best of my time so far. I was being taken along this path, and You will give me your voice, I will give you pain, you will give me light, Honor!
I grew into someone much better. A sharp one, genuinely forged. Although a stray. I was really living. I grew stronger, confident, and, more submissive.
Then, I went back, and it all sank back into place, and the edge blunted, I wasted away...
Many years were spent rotting like that. I had given up the sign when I found it tied to the name Azazel, and having read some of chtonic vagrant Koetting, decided not only that I disliked it, but that in the end that I would reject it. I had genuinely thought I came up with it. I could only think, "it was taken already, all along" and thus, instead of signing the world with a shape in which my deepest self was imbued, a highly personal and private shape, I felt like putting myself at the feet of a someone I didn't know... and resentfully disliked the idea.
For so long I have just been wandering around, with scorn and disdain for Mr Magic and his obtuse and tiresome nonsense, looking at Chaos, thinking it wasn't real enough, I needed fun little super-words and logos and word-for-word rituals... Looking at Sigils and Names, thinking wait — Who are these and why should I have anything to do with them?
Why would anyone trust them?
Going on and on... messing around... ending up on the bitter conclusion:
'There's no such thing as magic.'
And the synchros pop up... and you stumble upon a few things... and planetary stuff sounds nice. Although I still don't know who these names really are and if it's really a good idea to associate yourself with them and all the things that doing so would entail:
That description was pretty spot on.
I know I'm not done, like I kind of knew I wasn't done back then. Damn, I can't even find the real Venus sigil. And maybe I should go on these suspicious paths, and go up to them one after the other, and at the end something cool might wait.
Perhaps it should have been saturn into venus... I dunno. Eventually you gave it some time, some thought, you look at what happened, what you did and the very real results. Are they really linked? Well, call on the moon, as it turns out there's some hopeful, cheerfully hyped voice in the back of your mind, yelling —
⛥I think magic might be real!⛥
It is... Naught but a wish for hope and a want for greater things. I used to be kinda scared of death. Until I slowly stopped being scared because I grew up and because I started to find much peace in the thought. At some point I hoped I wouldn't wake up from my sleep, and felt really blue when consciousness took me again as I woke up. I used to cling to sleep as much as possible. Often, I still do.
There's a hint of a sliver in my depths of starting to fear death again, the thought. Melting into nothingness. An existential crisis?
I've had other dreams too.
In terms of results it's a problem that I'm suspicious of Saturn now. How can you trust this? Black cube, Kaaba, BlackRock bastards... Chtonic??? Evil??? How am I even able to have an idea? No solid hints! Nothing to walk on! Forget blinds, this is just disinfo, and I'm a fool.
Feels cool, but probably just same old shit. I have a responsibility towards myself, this world, the divine, to not associate with evil and bad dark.
And no way of knowing if this here would do that.
Fuck it all.
Ragnarok soul climax
Driving boats like espace to the middle of nowhere countryside greenery grass and tree. We hear on the radio god's final summon for the apocalypse. I'm with soulpod family. Look out the window after yelling land! Seeing a land in the distance rise up like if the land we're on ended in the distance and there was this elevated, green, island coming up so mom turns the car towards it.
Out the window I see many other cars like outs with their own soulpods families of souls as if cruising through the land open the window and make telephone sign to my right ear to tell them to listen to god's message on the radio. It's starting to snow, I'm kinda hanging out the car window sitting on sitting on the sill and looking backwards (I was on the left seat direct behind driver)
The final battle has been announced, and with great depth we laugh and joke as we move towards this building on top of a hill.
Now at this point we know everything about how we are souls, reincarnation, that families & close people close people typically reincarnate together as we always did. It was monumental. No metaphysics remain a mystery, researchers are jobless for all truth has been revealed. And now god is asking for us in the end battle against something bad...?
And we go gladly. This building everyone is converging up to in this exodus is very made of glass, like a convention center but looking corporate or scientific or clinical, but specialized. only one in the area, probably on the island. Stairs are kind of doing an S of concrete laid on top of lawn.
We're talking about the final fight/battle and how we're gonna fight. I'm now wearing telogreika-like top and large similar-colored pants and take off my winter gloves (elastic) to find the work gloves I want to wearing for the battle, just as we cross through the glass doors. We knew it was the final war, the fight at the end of time before god retakes all of his creations back and closes reality.
There was some competition between soul pods or families as to who'll fight better.
Mentally I am revealed a prophecy about me in the battle, like everyone else; and it tells me that I'll be key in the fight but for this I must be defeated. I am troubled.
We enter and there are some doors and hallways left and right, in front of us some reception hall, but people are moving front and left, which goes down to the lower levels where the summon seems to lead: there's an elevator and stairs.
So many people are moving; it's not that it's crowded, it's that it's a small part of a big thing, an exodus and I know literally everyone is on the move.
Family walks onto the elevator, high spirits all around, it's just a platform going down. I think, hey! if this lift fucks up all of our pod's out of the action case we'll crash or something.
So right as it starts descending I grab the upper and lift myself up saying I'll take the stairs. We move down, all the way down and at the end of the spiral stairs, which end in two stairs kind of like the bottom of a caduceus & some elevation, there's this door with some glowing stones of some sort in the wall. It's guarded by these entities which remind of djinn or demons. We know the door will open when it's really time and people are being housed and quartered right now. Few souls are around me on this, knowing not to get too close to these things
I get too close, and in a swift swoosh one of them takes my HP down to zero. I don't die or pass out or anything, but my HP is now zero and my fight has been ended before it began. I won't be fighting with everyone. Disgusted and emptied, I turn back. I go on to explore the complex, staying in the parts people don't go. I find some hidden rooms and passages, but the dream trails off here.