I don't care about anything anymore

I don't particularly like this upload, but it felt necessary.
Breaking taboos frees us. This is the basis of the various ways of the left hand path. It makes me feel good.

Nowadays there is a decent number of people that crawl back to depravity, consuming all manners of depraved pornography and doing various deeds, because that is the twisted way they have found to try to reclaim their liberty as a soul. Alone, shut away from everyone, that is their world, and thus they breathe.

It's their rebellion. Their rejection of everything that is being pressured onto them. Pressure release. Like a lustmord fantasy. The kind of shit that makes it thrilling to sprint through the suburbs or the forest naked at night. A curing, a throwing-up of the norm, the sickening ingrained dogma. No, not for souls like us, for the quiet ones which are courted by the lhp and satanism and all those that talk to us of the bursting asunder of the gates of ashamed repression, covered under a blind moon and finally, beastly, having left all the hylics behind, relieved even if temporarily, and brief even as brightly obscure.

I grew up in that kind of world. I feel at home within the thrilling chill of extremity, because in immersing myself in that, i tread the abandoned edge. It was the dotingly luscious company of devils i was raised from. I still don't completely know if it is good for me or not. There are places in this world that just work different. Barely related to the cattle's mundane experience, there are powers and seats and houses.
That is my place, the boundary to the dark, on the fringes, where i've always felt i belong. Witch house has accompanied me on this dusty path. Burning my mind with gore, extreme deviancy, utterly decadent material, the more stunningly taboo-raping the better. But that was just the shaky, brutish beginning. Those that belong in obscurity will understand.

And the rituals, the magic, the night, the solitude solution, growing closer to the nobler demons.
All of this combined, on the run from sobriety. I truly disconnected. Broke off from this world, and ended up chasing my own. Mindlessly mental. Aesthetic, dark, shut. Some part of me reeling from my masochistic trauma. A morbid curiosity was pushing me forwards. But i had already risen beyond that.

When i spoke of that world, that is what i meant.
I find it hardly explainable. Many will think, when they read the word demonic, of growls and stenches and aggression and heavy antagonistic energy. Insidious beings that watch and ruin your life. Only useful as weapons, albeit not worth it all.
Sure, it's out there, but that's not what i mean... i speak of something less volatile, less dangerous, less aggressive. Wise, solitary and timeless.

My mind throws up the image of some stoically intimidating human silhouette, standing or slowly walking in a dark valley, with clouds above in silent wind. It's the best way it's got to put this into vision; and i know it might be closer than i think also.

They exist. And the worlds too. I can dream and connect to them and so can you. It just takes you investment to the point that you lose yourself in it. It costs you everything else. It is the level above daydreaming and nightdreaming. Some give up on this world and leave their bodies in a coma. I don't know whether to condemn this.

This world is my inspiration material. If you lose yourself, you should do it beautifully. That's what i think. Any moment is good for an expedition. It's high time that we departed from this dimension.



You will find that once you begin the quest of trying to tune into a world, that some places out there will resonate with it. And will help you channel better. So you can use that.
Now, for some really concrete advice. You hop on youtubeInvidio.us, and look up stuff like Aquatic ambient, Industrial ambient, Steampunk ambient... something like that. Whatever. Then you go lay down in darkness or quasi so, alone, put the sound on, and see where it takes you.
Visualisation focus is if you're serious about it. But all you have to do is daydream and imagine a world. It will be formless at first, but you will solidify it. As it grows, it will take on a distinct feeling or essence; you are to channel that essence. You keep doing this until you start dreaming. You write down all your dreams in great detail to solidify your almost-lucid dreaming, which is called Flowing.
You then start having more serious dreaming. If you now continue on that path, and do it well, and properly lose yourself in an aesthetic maze, you'll be on the way.

Only ever so slightly as for all that is...
For trivia, one of the things i regret now is that i'm not doing enough flowing. They say Halling and Flowing, all that is ever willed. All and it's true. To this you have to add all the mess with Celebrate activity and High strangeness and partial shamanic activity. Or at least understand some of it. It makes it easier and more approachable. And it's still not enough... i am not enough for my taste. I know i'm not much. Just another lowly neet cunt. But i can smell who's faking. Is it sufficient? I hold dear the real thing, that is all.


Now you all need to stock up on MREs. Things that last. The water, the soaps, the lighters, the spices, the books, the medicals, the vitamins, the knives, the products. Just get to it.

An expedition is in order.