01/23

I'm not surprised they call Asmodeus the "king of the Earth" with his pervasive lust proliferation. It's the watered plants who grow. Our muddy dimension is particularly fitting as an astral prison to prevent accession to higher states of being. Demons aren't stupid. They work in self-interest. The case example is that his arrangement allows him to not necessarily seeks furthening of his own power, if all he has to do is suppress ours.
How could i have been so stupid! Some people have said Amon can be trusted. of course they would! More than anything, he is the doubt-overcomer. The suspicious practicioner, reasonably so, is persuaded by an oh-so-wonderfully trust-inspiring presence. And you end up as one of Belial's suffering souls. It's an obvious warning to those who see it: They have crammed us down into this earthen prison and i am hereby resenting them for it. Put in a state of stasis, because Earth is a farm of souls.
There seems to be only one leftover type of path for me, which is probably what that carpenter was about: our potential is greater than them. And we can break out. But we are weak right now, so we need to increase our power. I want to become strong, astrally, and great, to attain and continue growing my spiritual power.
But the prophecies have hinted at this. That we will break through the ceiling imposed on us. And we must, if we want to be truly free. Many tried before us.
They use sin to keep you trapped, because sin is a circle. Faith is a path, and it must be barred, say they.

I wish there was something better. The life i'm living is choking me out. I'm existentially lost. I don't know anymore. I just know i've been feeling fucked up for many years, slowly dying. I thought life was supposed to mean something.

...
And then! If anyone is looking for soul suicide, just cross the abyss. Deal with Choronzon and that's it. Just trust me bro. It should be something you go for when you've unlocked all the achievements and done all the life missions and just feel like you're done playing the game. When you're not at the end of your life, but at the end of all lives. You go.
In the meantime, we've got the life expectancy of the universe. Death is not the end and that's that. We'll do whatever we want in the astral, sounds fun enough. Put your pants on! You're not done having fun. Think a little bit further than your dinky room before choosing the path of ultimate test of faith and will. It's no bungee jumping nonsense. I tell ya. "The end of me", kinda deal.
The path of least resistance, that's why people are neet. And yet, i'm at a point where i don't even know if that's me speaking anymore. I have come to realize that i've been haunted by a faggy negative entity since the age of twelve, and it's sneakily and insidiously ruined my life. Voided all my plans, isolated me, brought me into a dark night of the soul, violated me. Trying to make me forget and change my mind. Fucking bitch. I need to get rid of it. It's ruining the people around me too. Why is no one telling me??? I need to know what to do! So as it turns out, there is really no such thing as universal justice. Gut dann! I will not be judged and countered by any of the acts i will undertake, and if though then by imbeciles and hypocrites! I need astral weapons and strength to break through the barrier, and am very cynical about asking demons for help! After all, what if that was their idea? I've been inhibited! I want to perform! Fuck it, i care about this earth, and i wanna take part in it! Or do i? It flips. I hate life. Whatever. Fuck everyone though.

Fuck lust, man! What has lust ever done for us? Look at what it brought — prostitution, child abuse, pornography, human trafficking, fucked up fetishes, corruption, shame, guilt, rape, addiction, infidelity, diseases, degeneracy, insecurity, ruined marriages, overpopulation, brothels, onlyfans whores, internal and external rot of values and virtue...
FUCK LUST!!! All my homies hate lust!

Now that i've cleared my mind, we can look back at the parallel dimensions! You can enter the crop circle world, for example, and participate, and put your work and time and energy into that, and have the high strangeness kick off. You work with it and for it, and it will lead you somewhere. If you don't lose sight of what you want. This world is weirder than you think, and it is possible to switch worlds like that.
I recall the fad that took a few corners of the internet for a while, which was dimension/reality shifting. Vladimir Nabokov would know something about that.

I'm a little bit worried about O.T.O.'s plans for humanity... It is said that if it contrasts with my values then my values contrast with god's. I don't know if that's true. I just hope it turns out good. It seems however that they're trying to make life so gutted and chafing, so that people find life unbearable and try to flee from earthy existence. Cruelly illuminated with the hidden knowledge, spiritually beaten black and blue, they come to seek self-annihilation.
May come to find it at the abyss.

People like us, high-performers stuck in a rut and rotting in neetdom, the world'll need us some day. One day, things will turn upside down, and we'll spring from under the floorboards, to defend that which we love, brandishing weapons and chives. I know, that deep down, in there somewhere, i'm actually a genuinely good person. But i have been hurt and muddied for many years and i'm just not in the flow right now. I hope i'll be given the opportunity to shine again! I seem to perform best when in service, especially for noble and greater than i.

I crave strength! I want to be strong! So i can fight for what i believe in! So i can defend myself, and those around me! So i can protect myself and live the way i want! So i can force some righteousness into this world! So that i can try to do good, so i can advance myself, and become a better person! So i can follow my own path! I want, i need to be strong!

National Socialist industrial fantasy setting.

Winterland lake surface ripples

Night Profound - Via Nocturna (2018) - Dark folk, neofolk, ritual ambient